Today's the day!

Today is the day that I will take the next step in my writer's journey. I will send out my partial to S Intimate Moments. I am a writer. And I'm one that's not afraid to make that next step. Repeat after me, I am not afraid to take the next step. I am not afraid of the unknown. Yeah, okay, right.
You know if someone came to me and told me their fears, hopes, dreams, I'd tell them a completely different thing that I would in fact do for myself. And why? I think because I don't give myself even enough credence, or credibility, or egad, worthiness.
I popped into a local metaphysical store last week with a friend. The owner, an amiable chap with apparent 'insight', started talking to my friend, telling her things. I couldn't help but laugh. This wasn't the first time I was with a friend and someone started telling them things. This time I said something. Why is it everyone always gets a message and I don't?!! To which the owner replied, "Would you like to know why?" Gulp. Did I? Yes of course I did! Honest. "You have this wall of confidence up that sends the message Don't approach me, I'm not receptive."
Or something to that effect. Now of course, I laughed again and said, boy have I got you all fooled. I can sit back now and replay the conversation and past few years over in my mind and realize that I have errected that wall. And fairly well built it is, by all accounts. I guess I come of as being rather like my one cat, Sterling, aloof, distant, in control and untouchable, however, once I come close, very affectionate and loving. The key is getting close. Or rather, me allowing someone close enough.
So, this week I've made a concentrated effort to not only send out more peaceful, loving energy, but to also connect more with my self. I can't say that I've connected with my higherself, but I have tried through meditation. I do know that I've encounted a few ethereal beings. A guide and an angel. Very neat. I didn't get to meditating yesterday, which isn't good, but sometimes it happens. I did spend a few hours discussing matters of the spiritual world with a friend. I replayed the scene over to him, whom I've just met in the last year or so, and he confirmed the illusion I have projected. So now I'm working on tearing down that wall and putting curtains up instead. I believe that will be more effective and serve me far better in both my life and my spiritual development.
Until next time, Blessings!