Another day, another goal

While I haven't offically set out a list of resolutions for the coming year, I do have several swirling around in the ole gray matter. Getting into a regular writing regiment is right up there with eating better, loosing weight and exercising. Then there's housework. Oh, and money. All of which need to be addressed. And oddly, all of which are linked, at least psychologically, to one another, at least in my world. My mood and state of mind affect whether I decide to clean the bathroom or eat another slice of toast with peanut butter. Or have several.

Control is also a very big issue for me. Lately, after emmerging from that lovely dark, dreery funk of depression, which is the only thing I can attribute my mental, emotional and spiritual absense to, I've discovered that while I was away (mentally, emotionally and spiritually) I relinquist control to my dear mother. Either that, or she saw I wasn't 'here' and picked up the reins and took over. Good thing she did. However, I'm back now, and have been for some time. I want my control back. And it's not been an easy thing to take back, although, I do suspect she's more than ready to hand over the reins again, at least in some respects.

This is the second time in this incarnation that I've experienced depression. The first time was brief and purely environmental. I was in a relationship that wasn't 'right' for me, nothing horribly wrong with it, but I was depressed. The relationship dissolved, albeit not the way I had imagined, and the veil was lifted. This time, it lasted a lot longer and I'm not quite sure what happened. I do know I entered into an Anne and came out a Jordanne. And this year I think it's time to make that official. The only thing I hope for, and I'd be kidding myself if I didn't think I could escape that black cloud again, is that I have enough presence of mind to get some drugs next time! Everyone seems to be on something and I almost feel like I'm missing out on something! LOL Just kidding. Kinda

Blessed be,
Jordanne